Someone Help Me Cope

Someone Help Me Cope
This may be repetitive, I'm sure it is, but without you people to talk to, whom do I have -- no one. :cry: I am suffering terribly, even since my surgery and I am so very tired. I have no support from any one and the thoughts I've been harboring for so long are beginning to take over. I no longer care about what people say but then I don't have a tendency to talk to anyone too much about my ENS because they are all non-believers. I am considered to be just another patient for the looney bin and this is sad. There is nothing crazy about me. There is nothing self-destructive about me (yet), but I do in all honesty want this to end. How long will I be able to hold off on going through with the thoughts that keep going through my head. I realize I need to once again talk with someone professionally and I plan to do that. But when a person becomes really tired, even they can't help. I think we all know that. I am still fighting with my insurance company to allow me to return to Dr. Houser so that he can give me a transplant on my other nostril. It is taking so long and I can't breathe or sleep. Last night was the worst I have ever experienced since I had ENS. I think I was up roaming around the house at least 5 or 6 times. I could not breathe right and I was extremely congested and snorting back mucous. It was awful. This will not allow you to go back to sleep. I tried everything I could think of to get rid of the mucous. When I finally cleared my nose, I fell back asleep, but was up again in an hour or two with the same problem. Why has God chosen to make me live like this. I know, he has his reasons. Soon I will have no family here as my sister is leaving in two weeks for North Carolina with the rest of my family. My son is busy flying around the world (lol). On April 9th he leaves for Iraq. I will pray for him and myself. In the meantime I wait; wait and hope that I will be allowed to return to Dr. Houser. He is my last, actually my last and only resort. Wish me well and please excuse my rambling. I talk to you, my friends, because you are the only ones who will understand. :( Valerie

Val, I think what I would do is get my resume together and start looking for a job in North Carolina. I know I told you before not to move, but I didn't realize your entire family was going. You're going to need the support of your family. And feeling as bad as you do you don't need to be alone. Consider it a new adventure. A new chapter in your life. The scenery in North Carolina is beautiful. The weather is warmer which might help too. In the meantime, I would find someone you can talk to. Someone who is non-judgmental. I believe that things will get better for you. You are stronger than you think.

Help me Cope
Thanks for your advice Michigan14. Actually I will have a brother left up here, but he is younger and I really don't see much of him. My family in North Carolina are not a source of support for me, they are just my family (lol). They are tired of hearing me talk about ENS so I don't any more with them -- but, at the end of the day, they are still my family and will see after me when someone else won't. I am not ready to look for a job in N.C. yet, not until I get my medical problems taken care of. I have insurance now and jobs are not as easy to come by in N.C. as they are in New York, but it is something I probably will eventually do. I have been there before and actually, warmer weather does not work for me either (lol), but I have to live somewhere. Humidity is very bad for my nose, actually I think moreso than cold weather. ENS on everyone I'm finding out is not always the same. Thanks for caring anyway and I just hope something gives with this soon. It's a very devastating condition. Valerie

Dear Val, I live in North Carolina. What town is your family moving to? FYI ; the humidity makes the inside of my nose swell more in the summer.

Help Me Cope
DR, My family lives in Charlotte, North Carolina and in my experience in visiting in the summer, the humidity was very bad for my nose. I stayed indoors a lot; came outside when it was not stifling. Valerie

Valerie, I have all those same feelings. I am so sorry you have to suffer like this. I gather you are working. You are amazing. I would not be able to. Are any of your co-workers sympathetic? I will pray for you that you will get your next surgery approved, and that things will get better. kris

Val, when times of complete frustration set in, one thing that I have found that works is Kundalini yoga-type breathing. I know your problems are physical. But I can totally feel your desperation. This is similar to the breath coach link that someone had pasted awhile back. It is however, beyond deep breathing. It is total mind and body relief through the slowest, most steady breath cycles you can possibly take. I know your ENS is real bad right now and here I am suggesting you breath. But it really, if nothing else, soothes the desperation, and hopeless feeling. It will not cure you of ENS, but if done properly, it WILL put YOU back in control of your ENS. Hang in there Matt Please check it out: meded.ucsd.edu/groups/hi-med/Shannahoff-Khalsa%20-%20Kundalini%20Yoga%20and%20

Help me Cope
Thanks Matt and Kris, and I will check out the yoga site. I will try anything once. Thanks again. Valerie

Valerie, I have been on and off this board for 5 years and have seen many of your postings, your are one of the "veterans" of this board..... Big warning, I know that Matt means well but is ignorant on Kundalini Yoga, please stay away from Kundalini Yoga, look up dangers of Kundalini Yoga, it is really an avenue for demons to really mess with you!!!(People that have experiences with Kundalini attacks may be one of the few people who feel worse than people that have had their turbinates messed with) I would stay far, far away from all forms of any YOGA.... You believe in GOD, read the Sermon on the Mount(Mathew 6 and 7) preached by Jesus, the need to fast and pray and giving/tithing. Pray for GOD to put Godly people in your life and to find a Godly Church where there are people who will be supportive, Seek GOD early in the morning before you go to work (there are scriptures that show the value of seeking GOD early in the morning.) The single most important thing to GOD is having a relationship with him that takes a while to grow, and it takes a lot of FAITH to keep praying every morning and praying throughout the day and trusting that GOD is hearing you, ask GOD to help you, healing starts when we acknowledge our sins/ask for repentance and ask to have an honorable repentance that is acceptable to GOD (we have all sinned and have fallen short of the glory of GOD) our sin disconnects us from God, and keeps us from hearing him, having a real relationship with him. God Bless

Help Me Cope
Shane, yes, I have been on this board for quite a while now. Can't seem to stay away because I am always thinking I will miss out on something that may help me. I notice you seem to disappear from time to time -- many new people have joined this board since I first started participating and many people have stopped coming. I looked at the site but I'm not interested in it. Yes, I have faith in God, I pray a lot and I know I need to find a church, just haven't been able to do anything lately but sulk :cry: -- keep wishing I could turn back the hands of time. Don't think I really have a relationship with God, but think perhaps I better step it up a bit. By the way Shane, how have you been doing? How you found anything that gives you any kind of relief? Thanks for your post. Valerie

Shane, I don't know an easier way to say this, but you have been seriously influenced by scare tactics, I mean its just breathing. Kundilini yoga is amazing, even dr. Houser recommended yoga once to help cope with ENS problems. Again, we are trying to help each other here and breathing is such an important aspect to focus on, as so many feel that they are suffocating all the time. How could you say that some people who do yoga end up suffering more than us? Its the other way around, people that suffer as much as us who do yoga, get somewhat better.

I have done yoga for 25 years. It has only ever helped me. Yoga will not hurt you or harm your spiritual life.

My oh my, Shane, Kundalini is the Devil? Wow. All I can say is wow. I'm sorry, but I'm tying hard to be civil and not laugh my a_ _ off. Granted, there are some concerns with Kundalini if done improperly. Because it is probably one of the deepest states of relaxation that can be attained, non-narcotically. Shane, I really want to respect your view. But you have been seriously brain washed. The link I posted is from UCSD medical school. But I suppose they are in League w/ Lucifer... ..Beating the Blues with Beelzeluba.... I was talking with a Christian yesterday. He said, "You want to know why I SUPPORT the war on TERROR? Because OUR GOD is REAL...and theirs is an IDOL." ....riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigt.

Valerie, I have been doing pretty well, the biggest thing that has given me relief is “stepping up” my relationship with God. One of the biggest things that happened to me, there was a day sitting in an Anatomy and Physiology class taking a -*test*-('") that was really discouraging (that is a really hard class to do well in if you have ENS symptoms) I realized that as much as I thought , I was I wasn’t really putting all my trust in God, I had put a lot of trust in all those herbs and healing modalities, not realizing how blindly at a spiritual level I was getting farther and farther away from GOD. I knew at a deep inner level I really just had to really put my trust in Him, because these treatments and herbs are leaving me penniless and not helping as much as they needed to, plus I think I started to realize how weird some of these practitioners were and that GOD probably wasn’t in this. I started to Fast (I knew this was a good Godly principle) and pray, shortly thereafter GOD put a person in my life that knew a lot more about God than I did. He showed me biblically where the Spirit ruled the Physical (I had such a hard time with this, I could directly see how herbs, supplements and other things had directly helped me physically, minimally but they did help) There are Spiritual principles that GOD works with and a lot of them are described by Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount, fasting, praying (without anyone knowing….will be blessed.) Giving of ALMS(tithing) will be pressed down, shaken, turned over… will be given back a hundred fold, (spiritually, financially, physically, having legitimate friends) Also Praising God, ….- seeking Him Betimes (times when it is day nor night, cool of the day, this is in the morning and evening) the Hebrew of the Strong’s Concordance, it’s kind of a cliché but it’s really like being sealed in the Spirit for the day when you start out your day Seeking Him… Communion is very helpful but it should be taken seriously, in fact I would advise going at-least 6 months of fasting and praying and seeking God early before I would ever touch communion, this is something that GOD really put his stamp on for better or worse (1 Corinthians 11, explains in further detail), Also I would treat it as a service unto itself not just 5 minutes of meditations and praying like many churches are accustomed to doing once a week or month or whatever. It's really all about growing (waxing stronger) IN Jesus Christ (christ means the annointed) growing stronger in the annointing. Where Christ is growing stronger in us there is health. It goes hand in hand, it's a simple sound principle, the hard part is staying strong in seeking God and trusting and obeying him, it helps a lot to know sound believers to help you grow,..doing these etymology studies has helped me a lot, it has shown me a lot of great pearls of truth. These principles have all helped me immensely and have done way more than supplements ever did(they would just help for a time, but then I would need more and then bigger doses to get the same effect) … I work at a grocery store doing Dairy and Produce and Bag a little bit,(not my ideal job, I should say) I hurt a little bit, having bone cut out is pretty serious but there was a time when I never thought I would feel as decent as I do, a lot of people that have had implants say they a are doing decently well but I have a hunch that I might being doing better than most of them(not trying to offend, just stating my opinion,) I don’t really see anybody saying they are REALLY doing A LOT better, but I don’t know for sure, I better leave that alone, what matters is being well right? I am also going to College taking Business and Criminal Justice Classes, I received a 4.0 for the first time last semester, I could never of did that off of how I used to feel, a couple years ago when I received my Associates degree It was really a struggle to get decent grades. I know that winters can be the hardest times (I noticed for 5 years how the winters were always the darkest times, this year was a little tough because I had a blood mucous issues from a battery acid incident, but things have gotten better).... I hope God puts some people in your life that will give some support(besides this board), I know it can be very lonely not having family around. I really feel strongly dead set against Kundalini, and ALL Forms of YOGA , its all Demonic, I know it is, and I stand by it. I’ve read enough accounts to know it’s very dangerous….I’ve done Yoga in the past, and understand that it can feel good, the bible talks about the devil appearing as an angel of light and I know that this is an area where he can deceive many people (There is another passage on deceiving spirits that I know of, I’ll have to find it.) This is one thing I know when having a relationship with GOD you feel a stronger warning in your spirit about stuff like this. Please grow stronger in relationship/understanding of God, HE is in and through our being, he is the source of life, HE IS LIFE ITSELF, He is the answer to whatever your problem is. Only Good things can come from seeking and trusting Him. Take Care and GOD Bless

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